Chaos in my head

There’s chaos in my head tonight

It won’t fucking let me sleep
The thoughts go round and round tonight
The silence I can’t keep.

It plays off my emotions
Rousing fear and guilt
It threatens to destroy
The precarious peace I’ve built.

It wont let me stop thinking
Playing games inside my head
Forcing me to confront things
That are better left unsaid.

I know it’s not reality
Just ignore the noise
But when it takes a hold of me
It does nothing but destroy.

It tells me all the little lies
I know I should not believe
But damn it’s so convincing
 Its quest is to deceive.

It plays on insecurity
It reminds me of my sins
It tells me that I’m worthless
That I deserve the state I’m in.

I know somewhere inside me
That this is not the truth
But damned if I can reach
The thread that makes the loop.

The one I need to save me
The one that banishes the lies
That little ray of hope that’s there
So deep down inside.

For now ill just lay quietly
Waiting for the storm to pass
Hoping I can fall asleep
Before it completely kicks my ass..

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