BPD

Borderline personality disorder

That’s what they say I am
I fit all the requirements
In the DCM.

I cycle through emotions
 like a race car driver on crack
 in a heightened state of anxiety
my logic out of whack.

my perceptions at the time
 in this heightened state
make me illogical
 a place I fucking hate.

I often isolate myself
Away from family and friends
I lash out at things around me
My impulsivity knows no end.

The cycle, it ends quickly
As fast as it begins
But it never stays gone for long
It always starts again.

I try to contain the madness
But it sucks me down so deep
Nobody knows the truth of it
These secrets that I keep.

I let you believe the worst of me
I’m moody and I’m mean
I’m not fit for company
If only you could see.

Its easier to hide it
What happens in my brain
I know you’ll just deny it
Even if I could explain.

Some days I do better
Others I’d rather be dead
Than deal with the constant chaos
That’s always in my head.

You’ll never understand it
Most don’t care to try
Just ignore it,  it’ll go away
Keep telling yourself that lie.

Until the day I break
I will keep forgiving
Your ignorance is bliss
Until I stop living. 

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